Today can either be one of the best days of the year for you or just another in a long list of days you dread depending on where your partner is. Everyone considers how they would feel about their partners missing the usual like birthdays, Christmas and Easter going into this life but forget about all those other days during the year. Mother’s day can very easily end up like birthdays and other holidays where you do all the work for yourself and it has lost all special meaning.
Seriously I grew up with mother’s day being the day dad took over and we brought mum little gifts to show how much we cared for her. The whole idea was we gave mum the day off and took care of everything right down to dad taking us out for tea or cooking it himself and doing the dishes. I looked forward to that when I grew up and had a family myself. One day to have my hubby shower me with attention and show his appreciation for all the million and one things I do to make sure our kids are growing up right day to day.
Instead more often than not I end up doing all the work myself just like any other day because hubby is away at sea. It is what I imagine being a truly single mother is like. The presents I either brought myself for the kids to give me or I gave them the money to go to the mother’s day stall at school and buy some silly little thing that I know despite all good intentions I will never use. I mean how many pens, coffee cups or travel mugs doe’s one person need. There is no spark of wonder or joy because I already know what I’m getting and how the day is going to go. There is no surprises. Don’t get me wrong I always get a text or a call just like any other day and he makes sure to tell me how he wishes he could be here but it isn’t the same thing as him actually being here and we both know it.
I wish I could tell you that it gets easier and all that but honestly today is one of those days that just plain suck when he’s away at sea. I look forward to the day when my kids have grown up enough that they can step in and do it all themselves or that hubby is home and I don’t know what to expect from the day. Maybe then the wonder will come back and it won’t just be another day of the week to me. You know just like Christmas wasn’t any big deal as you grew older until you had kids of your own to delight with it all.
Please don’t get me wrong I do get the mother’s day I’ve always wanted when he is home and he does take great care all during the year to make sure I know exactly how he feels about my skills as a mother. I can say that as a whole seafarers are very good about making up for lost time when they are on shore and the truly good ones are all about their families. It’s just something about being surrounded by all your friends with land based partners showering them this one day with attention that makes you wish you had that too. It is not that we forget all that they do during the year to show us how they feel it is more about wanting what every other normal family has. I say normal family because realistically there are very few seafarers with families compared to land based families.
So for all the mothers and dads doing double time raising kids on your own I want to wish you a great day and hope that in some small way life surprises you in a good way today.
An Anchor In Port 